[Doe's Blog]
The world doesn't need anymore Hummers, leather shoes or a new flavors of chips, but it definitely needs more belly dancersWedding Planning...
2007-06-29
I have an idea for a new product...Wedding in a Box!
Since I've been "helping" (yeah right, entirely planning) plan Ash's wedding, I've come to the conclusion that people should elope! That is unless the bride and groom are willing to plan and fund the entire wedding.
Hence my idea, Wedding in a Box, everything you need for a beautiful wedding or the redneck version, Weddin' ina Box, everthang you need ta git hitched! (comes complete with shotgun)
In the box would be tiny little sponges that you drop in water and POOF, out pops bouquets of flowers, a wedding dress, tux, tablecloths, candles, a minister, champagne, food, etc..
Also for the Mother of the Bride, Valium and an I.V. pole adorned with ivy.
A flat price according to how fancy you want to be!
I better get the patent on this right away! Don't go stealing my idea now, ya hear?
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Divorce, Custody & Pepsi
2007-06-28
A man and his wife were getting a divorce at a local court, but the custody of their children posed a problem. The mother jumped to her feet andprotested to the judge that since she had brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.
The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his side of the story.
After a long moment of silence, the man rose from his chair and replied:
"Judge, when I put a dollar into a vending machine, and a Pepsi comes out, does the Pepsi belong to me or to the machine?"
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What's been going on?
2007-06-26
Well, let's see...
For the most part I've been sitting here at my desk, listing items on ebay for the past 9 days! Not all that time was spent listing, some of it was fine tuning my store, finding my way around. The store biz is a whole new ballgame.
And I haven't sold a dang thang! Oh well, I have faith that I'll figure out which items sell best, which listing style works best, etc.. Patience, lots and lots of patience! Which isn't something I have a lot of. Maybe I can buy some on Ebay? They have everything, right?
Today was a bit different. Instead of getting up, fixing coffee and plopping my butt down in this chair in my robe and staying put, I actually got up this morning and showered! Good to know, eh? There was a very good reason for it though. I had an appointment at 8:15 with my PT lady, Ann and my massage therapist, Sara. I haven't seen them in ages and I've got to tell you, it's worth the copay just to see those two gals! They are such a breath of fresh air! My neck and back are thanking me tonight.
After I left the appointment, I went to the Dollar Tree. I just love that store. I always seem to find something to buy there. Besides, it was either that or the mall. My bank account is thanking me :) Then I did the usual, hit the grocery, bank and post office. Regardless of how mundane it was, it was just nice to get out in the sunshine and see people that don't live with me! I've felt so cooped up.
The good news is, I have about 100 items listed in my store, so now I don't feel the need to hit it so hard. I can add just a few a day or several a week. It will be so much easier now.
Oh and did we ever have a storm today! Good Grief! It came out of nowhere. One minute it was warm and the sun was shining and the next BAM...lightening, thunder, and the hardest downpour I believe I've ever seen. It came out of the east, which was odd. My house faces the east, so the rain was beating my picture window. There's a row of pine trees across the street and pine cones were blowing into my yard! That's quite a way for the wind to blow those things and not to mention, right off the trees! When the rain let up a bit and I could finally see out the window, I saw moles! Yes, that's plural...MOLES, on top of the ground! Those little suckers have been rooting up our yard so terribly bad and nothing we do seems to slow them down. So I grabbed my broom and played whack the mole! I know, it's terrible and after I whacked one, I couldn't do it again. It left me with a sick feeling.
Oh My! I think I hear my husband pulling up in the driveway! Hmmm, he's early. I guess I should take this opportunity to spend some time with him.
I hope everyone is doing well...
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Business in a box
2007-06-21
That's essentially what I've bought into.
I joined a wholesale merchandise co. You've seen the infomercials, you know where you can make a zillion dollars from the comfort of your home with just minutes a day? Heck, you can even make money while you sleep!
Actually, some folks do very well with this sort of thing and I might too but, it takes more than a couple hours a day, at least in the beginning or maybe it's just me.
I remind myself of the child who is sent to their room to clean it. They pick up a toy and on the way to the toy box, they start playing with the toy. They sit on the bed, lay back, notice a book on the shelf, take the book down, flip through the book throw the book on the bed. Slide down to the floor, pick up another toy, start to put it in the toy box and so on....
As I'm listing items on ebay and I search to see what others are selling their items for and then I go from one page to the next. I look at their merchandise, I read their feedback, The phone rings, I stop and talk on the phone or decide to do a load of laundry or to step outside to make sure the world is still revolving and start watering my flowers!!!! Argh! It's maddening! I think I need some ritalin!
Here I have "America's Best Home Business Opportunity" sitting next to me in a red, white and blue box and I can't focus! If I turn the box to the side, it says, "live your own American dream" see, that's the problem. I'm dreaming about everything I'm going to do with all my millions!
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eat, eat, eat.....
2007-06-16
All of our plans this weekend revolve around food! Eating, eating.....
No wonder there are so many overweight people in the US! Get togethers and celebrations usually do involve some kind of food.
Last night we went out to eat with Tony's sister and her husband to celebrate Tony's birthday, which isn't until Sunday. So that easily gives him an opening to celebrate all weekend long. I'm all for that and I do the same thing. Hey, get more bang for your buck!
Today we're getting together at a different sister's house for a cookout to celebrate Father's day. At least she included some activitiy. We're invited to swim as well.
Tomorrow we're going to Tony's very Italian Mother's house for spaghetti and meatballs! She does make delicious italian food. I'll have to see my Dad tomorrow as well and I'm certain that will involve eating too. I know we have to eat but, come on!
I'm going to suggest we all get together for aerobics! Maybe we'll do that for Thanksgiving :)
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All is well that ends well...right?
2007-06-14
I know you've all been waiting with bated breath to know if my hair is a lovely shade of gamboge. (yes, that's a shade of orange) Well, you'll be relieved to know, it's not. It seems the tanning solution has no effect on hair. Why then do they give you a hair cover? I guess it's because the solution is wet and it's "just in case" I don't really have an answer. Who cares, right?
OK, enough of that! Want to talk about my fingernails now? Me either.
I'm expecting out of town company today. They should arrive around 4 PM. I wish I could say I'm excited about it but, I'm not. My anticipated guest is one of my best friend's husband Mark, and one of his friends or I guess I should say his son's friend. Which I find odd. I didn't ask. They are on thier way to a formula one race somewhere, we are merely a pit stop. A meal and a bed for the night.
I was going to go all fancy on thier ass but, stopped short and decided to grill brats and burgers. See, I'm learning :) Mark is an old hippy. He never grew up and enjoys his herb. Which I find very irritating, since I do not. It's fine if he wants to do that elsewhere but, it really irks me when he visits and I smell it wafting throughout my house. I don't have to approve of what a 50 something man does but, I do have to approve of what goes on in my own home. Hopefully I won't have to say anything. I love Mark to pieces, I really do! He's funny, he's carefree, he's smart and generous. He's also childish at times, says inappropriate things and will most likely be 3 sheets to the wind when he arrives! He loves his brew too.
I'm not going to break my neck today as I normally would. Why would I? He won't notice anyway. Maybe I should be grateful that he'll be smashed! I hope "the friend" is driving!
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I'm such a DORK
2007-06-13
Naturally, try to make something easy and what do I do?
Today I went to get a "Mystic Tan" Basically you get in this rather large booth and get a tan sprayed on.
Being nearly 42 (YIKES when did I get that old?) and not wanting to push the wrinkle factor, I've vowed to get as little sun as possible but, I've been a sun worshipper my whole life and I look and feel (well, look) healthier when I have some color.
First they have you watch a video, then one of the girls takes you back and re-explains everything. There's even a chart on the wall with step by step directions.
So off I go and I'm in "the room", strip stark naked, which is a bit unnerving, slathering on gel and then cream. You have to cover all the knuckles and nails on your fingers and toes with a barrier cream. It takes some time to apply all this stuff.
As I'm applying all the goo, someone starts jiggling the door knob 
So, then I'm feeling rushed and there's a recorded voice that keeps saying "Welcome to Mystic Tan, to start the session, please hold your hand in front of the censor" "Welcome to Mystic Tan...." Between the knob jiggler and the voice, I felt like I had to get in the booth, so I did.
As soon as it starts spraying, I remember....
I didn't cover my hair with the supplied hair cozy!!! EEK! My hair! My blonde hair will be orange! I couldn't concentrate. The recorded message was then saying, turn to your left and place your left foot on #1 and your right foot on #3. Here I am, trying to do what it says and doing my best to keep my hair out of the spray, which is impossible!
You don't walk out of there immediately tanned, it takes a few hours to see the results, so who knows what the heck I'm gonna look like. Stripped with orange hair more than likely...OY!
Remember the Friend's episode when Ross kept getting his front sprayed but, not his backside? And he got paid how much per episode? Hell, I paid to do this!! DOINK!
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Lasagna Anyone?
2007-06-12
Being the good wife and Mother that I am...HEY! I hear you snickering over there!
I decided I would make an actual honest to goodness meal tonight.
At 3:15, I walk out the backdoor to move some ground cover around and there was my husband! "Hi Baby, how are you" I said with a big smile. "what are you doing home already"? "I have that meeting, remember"? "Oh yeah...do you have time for dinner first"? "No, not really, I'm already pushing it" "Oh well, maybe L.T. will have time to eat with me"
So I go about my business of digging dirt.
"MOM"!
"I'm around here"
"I'm off to work"
"already"?
"Yeah, I have to go to the post office and get gas"
*kiss kiss*
Poof, all by myself with a whole pan of lasagna! what to do, what to do?
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Vagus Nerve
2007-06-12
I had a scary episode this morning. I've had them before, so I knew I wouldn't die but, I sure felt like it. I signed online and was fine, when all of the sudden, I felt like I weighed a thousand pounds. I could barely lift my arms or legs. I broke out in a cold sweat and thought I was going to throw up. Since I was home alone and knew there was a very good chance I could faint, I went straight to bed. Last thing I remembered it was around 6:30 or 7, I woke and it was 9:30.
Just another lovely gift from MS.
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Hell's Kitchen
2007-06-11
No, I'm not talking about my kitchen, although this morning, it looked a little rough.
Hell's Kitchen is another one of those reality shows. I like this one! There's something about that Gordon Ramsey fellow that would scare the pee out of me, if I were on the show but, from my sofa, he looks pretty darn HOT! Oh yeah, he's in H E double hockey stick's kitchen! No wonder 
My faves so far, Bonnie, Julia, Rock & Eddie. Now, that could change, since there's only been on episode.
For those interested, it's on tonight, 8 central, 9 eastern time FOX.
Any other fans out there?
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The Tea Cup
2007-06-11
There was a couple who took a trip to England to shop in a beautiful antique store to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary. They both liked antiques and pottery, and especially teacups. Spotting an exceptional cup, they asked "May we see that? We've never seen a cup quite so beautiful."As the lady handed it to them, suddenly the teacup spoke, "You don't understand. I have not always been a teacup. There was a time when I was just a lump of red clay. My master took me and rolled me pounded and patted me over and over and I yelled out, "Don't do that." "I don't like it!" "Let me alone," but he only smiled, and gently said; "Not yet!"
Then. WHAM! I was placed on a spinning wheel and suddenly I was spun around and around and around. "Stop it I'm getting so dizzy I'm going to be sick!", I screamed. But the master only nodded and said, quietly; 'Not yet.'
He spun me and poked and prodded and bent me out of shape to suit himself and then... Then he put me in the oven. I never felt such heat. I yelled and knocked and pounded at the door." Help! Get me out of here!" I could see him through the opening and I could read his lips as he shook his head from side to side, 'Not yet'.
When I thought I couldn't bear it another minute, the door opened. He carefully took me out and put me on he shelf, and I began to cool. Oh, that felt so good!
"Ah, this is much better," I thought. But, after I cooled he picked me up and he brushed and painted me all over. The fumes were horrible. I thought I would gag. 'Oh, please; Stop it, Stop it!! I cried. He only shook his head and said. 'Not yet!'.
Then suddenly he put me back in to the oven. Only it was not like the first one. This was twice as hot and I just knew I would suffocate. I begged. I pleaded. I screamed. I cried I was convinced I would never make it. I was ready to give up. Just then the door opened and he took me out and again placed me on the shelf, where I cooled and waited and waited, wondering "What's he going to do to me next?" An hour later he handed me a mirror and said 'Look at yourself.' And I did. I said, 'That's not me; that couldn't be me. It's beautiful. I'm beautiful!"
Quietly he spoke: "I want you to remember, then,' he said, 'I know it hurt to be rolled and pounded and patted, but had I just left you alone, you'd have dried up. I know it made you dizzy to spin around on the wheel, but if I had stopped, you would have crumbled. I know it hurt and it was hot and disagreeable in the oven, but if I hadn't put you there, you would have cracked. I know the fumes were bad when I brushed and painted you all over, but if I hadn't done that, you never would have hardened. You would not have had any color in your life. If I hadn't put you back in that second oven, you wouldn't have survived for long because the hardness would not have held. Now you are a finished product. Now you are what I had in mind when I first began with you."
The moral of this story is this: God knows what He's doing for each of us He is the potter, and we are His clay. He will mold us and make us, and expose us to just enough pressures of just the right kinds that we may be made into a flawless piece of work to fulfill His good,& pleasing and perfect will. So when life seems hard, and you are being pounded and patted and pushed almost beyond endurance; when your world seems to be spinning out of control; when you feel like you are in a fiery furnace of trials; when life seems to "stink", try this...
Brew a cup of your favorite herbal tea in your prettiest tea cup, sit down and think on this story and then, have a little talk with the Potter.
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Some Things about No Things
2007-06-10
*What's that phrase? "Much ado about nothing" I think that will pretty much sum up this entry. If you're looking for something exciting to read, skip to the next blog.
I'm not complaining mind you, I sort of like weekends like this. Relaxed with just a little bit of fun thrown in the mix.
Friday night hubby and I went to a newly discovered Mexican restaurant. The food is A+ with such reasonable prices that we've been two Fridays in a row. Maybe that will be our new Friday night haunt. Funny thing though, last Friday when we were there, we noticed a rather large fellow drinking an enormous margarita! I kid you not when I say, this margarita had to be a full blender!
Hubby decided he wanted a B.A.M. "Big Ass Margarita" HA! Besides the brain freeze that came with said B.A.M., it was very potent! Half of the drink was still in the glass when we left. Hubby tried to get me to share it with him but, I chose to stick to my diet coke, incase he did finish it and we needed a driver.
We made our weekly visit to see his Mother after dinner and she proceeded to tell us about the chiggers she had all around her, ummm, private areas. Pointing them out and scratching! (shaking head) So, being the "good DIL" I ran to the local CVS and purchased some cream that the pharmacist compounded for her. I've been too scared to ask if it helped for fear of a repeat explanation of the of the chiggers.
Yesterday I hit up a few yard sales. You know how sometimes you just know it's going to be a good day? Well, I didn't have that feeling about my yard sale adventures yesterday morning and I was right. Not that it was bad either, just nothing great.
Last night we went to our third oldest daughter's fiances' birthday party. We had a nice time and good food. It was an early night with lights out at about 10:30. Man, we must be getting old. Neither of us could even hold our eyes open long enough to watch TV.
Very early this morning hubby kissed me goodbye and my first thought was....what day is it? Sunday, hmmm, he must be heading to the lake or the airfield but, the thought soon turned into dreams. I fell back asleep and slept until.....drum roll please! 9AM! wooooooo hoooooo! Do you know how long it's been since I've done that? OH IT FELT GOOD! 
I've been piddling in the yard. No not peeing in the yard, piddling, with my flowers and such. The only plans I have for the rest of the day is to grill a pork loin, sit on the pool deck, drink tea and soak up some sun. Boring? maybe but, who couldn't go for a boring Sunday like that?
I hope everyone gets to have a lovely boring Sunday!
*told ya so.
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Walmart Hell
2007-06-08
Screaming kids, slow cart pushers, isle blockers, rude shoppers!
More reasons why I don't go to Walmart very often.
I went to today to make some copies of pictures from our son's graduation. I used one of those kiosk machines with the touch screen. Good Grief! The damn screen touchy thing wasn't very touchy! I had to poke, poke, poke,...a zillion times to get it to work. Oh yeah, this was after waiting nearly an hour to get a machine at all. Think of all the germs on that screen!
Then, in the middle of my order a screen pops up that says to reboot! So, the lady behind the counter rebooted it. That took another 15 mins. FINALLY after being in Walmart for 2 hrs. I came out with some pictures! I was ready to pick up something very large and very heavy and heave it at the machine!
Of course, I think they may do this on purpose, $13 worth of pictures but, my total bill was $75! How the hell did that happen? Oh yeah, while I was waiting for the machine, I shopped.
Stupid Store!
The next time, I'll pay more and go to Walgreens!
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It's Hell Getting Old!
2007-06-06
An 80-year old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with
normal results. The doctor says, "Chuck, everything looks great! How are you
doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?"
Chuck replies, "God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's
fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom,
POOF! the light goes on. When I'm done, POOF! the light goes off."
" WOW, that's incredible," the doctor says.
A little later in the day, the doctor calls Chuck's wife.
"Ethel," he says, "George is doing fine! But, I had to call you as I am in
awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that when he gets up during the
night, POOF! the light goes on in the bathroom and when he's done POOF! the
light goes off?"
"Oh, my God!" Ethel exclaims,
"He's peeing in the refrigerator again!"
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Bloomers
2007-06-06
I just love this time of year! Watching all the flowers bloom, the grass is green, green! The sun is shining and all is well.
At least I have a better sense of well being in the summer.
These are a couple of the lilies and a clematies that are blooming in my gardens right now. I love Summer!
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A duck walks into a pub
2007-06-05
A duck walks into a pub and orders a schooner of beer and a ham sandwich.The barman looks at him and says, "But you're a duck."
"I see your eyes are working," replies the duck.
"And you talk!" exclaims the barman.
"I see your ears are working," says the duck,
"Now can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"
"Certainly," says the barman, "Sorry about that, it's just we don't get
many ducks in this pub. What are you doing round this way?"
"I'm working on the building site across the road," explains the duck.
Then the duck drinks his beer, eats his sandwich and leaves.
This continues for 2 weeks. Then one day the circus comes to town. The
Ringleader of the circus comes into the pub and the barman says to him,
"You're with the circus aren't you?
I know this duck that would be just
brilliant in your circus, he talks, drinks beer and everything!"
"Sounds marvelous," says the ringleader, "Get him to give me a call."
So the next day when the duck comes into the pub the barman says, "Hey Mr
Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money!"
"Yeah?", says the duck, "Sounds great, where is it?"
"At the circus," says the barman.
"The circus?" the duck inquires.
"That's right," replies the barman.
"The circus?" the duck asks again.
"Yes" says the barman
"That place with the big tent?" the duck inquires.
"Yeah" the barman replies.
"With all the animals?" the duck questioned.
"Of course" the barman replies.
"With the big canvas roof with the hole in the middle," asks the duck.
"That's right!" says the barman.
The duck looks confused.
"What the hell would they want with a brick-layer?"..............
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Crossing State Lines To Get My Drugs...
2007-06-04
Several years ago, approximately 4 years now, our prescription drug coverage changed to a 30% co pay, which, for most drugs is an OK deal but, one of the meds I was on was $1400 a month. It was an injectable drug. That really threw a kink in the ol' budget so, I opted to go the alternative route.
I had heard of an alternative drug for sometime on the MS chat boards and decided to give it a go. It was much cheaper and had no side effects. The script was written off label so, I assumed that my insurance co. wouldn't pay for it. So, for all these years I've been paying about $50 a month out of pocket. No biggie.
Well, today I switched compounding pharmacies. I had been having it shipped from Boca Raton, FL and decided it was too inconvenient. I found a compounding pharmacy just over the state line in KY that made this particular drug. As a matter of fact it's because of me that they do but, that's a different story for another day.
After having 2 lengthy conversations with the pharmacist about the filler they use and which filler I prefer, hubby and I drove there to pick up "my drugs" The pharmacist came out, introduced himself and shook my hand. We had a long chat and then....
He gave me an insurance form that was completed except for my info, to mail in for reimbursement! I explained that I didn't think they would pay for the drug since it was off label. He told me that all the people w/ MS who take this drug and used his pharmacy were being reimbursed! WOW!
That's just over 4 yrs x $50 per month minus, 30%! HELLO CHA CHING! I'm gonna give it a shot! I've gone head to head with the insurance co. many, many times and usually with enough persistence, I win!
More Later 
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A Riddle
2007-06-03
best when viewed in blog.
You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left side is a drop off (The ground is 18-20 inches below the level you are traveling on), and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you.
In front of you is a galloping horse which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it.
Behind you is another galloping horse. Both horses are also traveling at the same speed as you .
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?
For the answer click and drag your mouse from star to star.
* Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round. *
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Treasure Hunt
2007-06-02
.... or more commonly known as Yard, Rummage, Garage Sales!
They are just so much fun! I'm a little late getting started this season but, I finally got out this morning. I didn't leave my area and still spent nearly 3 hours finding bargins.
My best find of the day was a very nice, nearly new "big girl" car seat for Lexy for a whopping $2! It even has a cup holder. We have Lexy more than we have Kaden, so I keep a car seat permenently buckled into my backseat for her. The one I got today is big enough for Kaden too though. So now, no more swapping of car seats when we have them both. I know, I'm easily entertained.
I found several other goodies as well and spent less than $20, including a breakfast burrito at McDonalds...yuck.
It's a beautiful sunny day in Southern Indiana.
Tonight we're having dinner with friends and I'd like to go see the movie Waitress.
Now I'm off to do yard clean up from yesterday's storm! EGADS! We have several huge limbs down and driving around today I saw trees that were blown over. Several of my very large clay flowerpots that have been on my deck for years without any problem, were blown out into the yard, across the street and/or smashed on my deck. The storm lasted a grand total of about 10 minutes! Thank goodness it didn't last any longer.
Good Luck to my fellow Treasure Hunters :)
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How much for a brain?
2007-06-01
| |||
 | "The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant." |
| "It's an experimental procedure, semi-risky and you will have to pay for the brain yourselves." The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. |
| After a great length of time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?" |
| The doctor quickly responded, "$5,000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain." The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked. |
| A man, unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask. "Why is the male brain so much more?" |
| The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and so to the entire group said, "It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've actually been used." |
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